친구 좋은 ~ friend. good.


i failed to update my blog yesterday. i dint really feel like writing. prollie coz there's somethin in my mind that bothers me. i dunno, im still tryin to analyze how i really feel. i feel like im expecting for something to happen. part of me also wanted to open up to this person but somethin inside me is backing out. but as my friend johanne wrote on her myspace, "never expect, never assume, never demand". which is true, i think. it's better that finding yourself broken hearted. i may sound pathetic, coz i think i really am pathetic right now. i feel alienated actually. im longing for my friends, i wanna be surrounded by them. i need someone to tell me that everythings gonna be fine. im almost lost, again. but i can still handle it. im tryin to avoid any potential heartbreak. *sigh* so bottomline, i have insecurities. i wanted to cry and release whatever that feeling inside me. i just wanna be the same old, happy me.

thank God, He sent me somethin to brighten up my day. i checked my mail, after like a million years today and i found somethin really good, which was sent last monday. it was from my long lost friend, Areum Kim. i suddenly brigtened up. NOTHIN BEATS GOOD OLD FRIENDS! she sent me a snapshot too.


김 ~ 아름다움


Hey! How are you doing?
Remember me? It's me Kim areum.. Karen...
I don't know what name you remember me with.
I met Iris Yesterday~
I really miss you.. and Philippines.
It's freezing here. And I hate snow......
Sometimes I wanna go back there and I feel awful for knowing that i can't..
I have no idea which e-mail ad's the right one.
I'll send you my recent picture.
I have my new glasses..
but most of times I use my contact lenses.
I curled my hair.
and I gain weight.. few pounds.
hahaha~~ I hope you are doing fine too..
hope you'd have a fine day..
and for me to have your right e-mail ad.
and to receive a reply... haha *^^* ~~¡Ù


i met Areum way back in highschool, i was a year ahead of her but we became really close when we joined a string ensemble, she plays the violin. she has like three english name, the first one is Fanny, then Car, then Karen. i call her areum, which means "beauty" in korean. (i guess) hah! we also did a lot of duets in school and church programs. it was fun having her around, always there to help me out wit my projects. i used to go to her place and use her computer. which is a bit complicated since it's in korean! she used to bring be some kimbab and other korean stuffs every rehearsal. OMGSHH i miss her so much! i miss picking her up and dropping her off to her place after rehearsals. some highschoolers thought we were an item. hah! she's pretty though. i met her mom already and she was so nice to me. areum introduced me as her besfriend. she's really sweet but can be very tough. i remember her doing taekwondo on me, after teasing her so bad. i hurts so bad, i actually got so mad too! hah! GOODTIMES!

i hope to see you again areum, we have a lot to catch up. ^_*


find me and areum here!

Labels: kim areum, violinist

im not weird, im just unique.



it was really cold today, good thing it stopped snowing but the streets are still "icy". i did the same thing today. went to school to drop off and pick up julio. its weird but i feel like dressin up again whenever i go out. i feel like im goin back to my old self. for some reason, i tried changing my style, my ourfits and stuffs. i tried to project a more boy-ish look, somethin like the boy-next-door type. maybe because i want to change the first impressions that i make, especially when i went here in canada. im just tired of people especially some relatives who is criticizing the way i look. i tried to tone down but it shows less creativity, definitely not me. i feel like im pretending to be someone else. but anyways, i realized that its ok to be myself. i want people to like me as me.

in someways, i think fashion is liberating. i was wearin pink today, and it caught a lot of attention. i love wearin loud colors. but here in the americas, its more like a no-no, well thats how i feel. i used to get a lot of negative comments from random people, and its not a good feeling, especially if they would just yell at you from their cars. stupid people. today even my lil cousin was laughin at me, coz of the pink. he really got on my nerves. i wish more there would be more people on this earth who could understand colors and patterns. i was actually wearin the same outfit i wore on new years eve. wit a different pants though. i was wearin it wit a pair of skinny jeans today. on new years eve, i wore it with plaid pants. and i wasnt surprise when the people started to critic. it dint really bothered me. i actually felt bad for them coz they look the same. hah!

so yup. lesson learned: its ok to be your own person, never dull your shine for others. take pride on not wearin what other people think are cool.

an angel to watch over me.


to the greatest women ive ever met, this song is for you ma. i hope to see you soon because i miss you so much ma. thanks for everything. you mean a world to me. im such a cliche ma. i love you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

She watched by my cradle through long, sleepless nights
She taught me to pray as she knelt by my side
She guarded my childhood, and all through the years
She echoed my laughter, she counted my tears
In the arms of my mother, I came to believe
That God sent an angel to watch over me

She taught me the meaning of courage and faith
She taught me to live with the Lord as my strength
She taught me to follow the pathway he marked
She guided my steps when the journey grew dark
And I know there were dangers that I could not see
But God sent an angel to watch over me

She taught me to serve with a spirit that sings
She taught me to seek after heavenly things
And because of her love and her kindness and care
Because of the place that I hold in her prayers
And because of her goodness, I still believe
That God sent an angel to watch over me

Labels: an angel to watch over me, sally deford

a psalm of life.




Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
A PSALM OF LIFE

WHAT THE HEART OF THE YOUNG MAN
SAID TO THE PSALMIST

TELL me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream ! —
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real ! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal ;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way ;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
Be a hero in the strife !

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant !
Let the dead Past bury its dead !
Act,— act in the living Present !
Heart within, and God o'erhead !

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate ;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

*this poem was shared to me by Daniel Lukas. one of my great friend. thanks much D! finally i get to chat wit him again after like a million years! hah! exage. but yeah, was great chattin wit him, he's definitely one of my best buds ever.

words of wisdom by daniel lukas


"Wisdom and learning is not something we simply wake up with, but is a product of painstaking observation and learning"


"Anyway. I think romance is often like driving a car and seeing a tree up front. You know its coming, either you avoid it (stay single), or you decide to hit it (get into the fray). Funny thing is, most people who decide to hit it accelerate (rush into dating), and more than often are killed in the crash."

" we gotta keep moving, but at the same time, look at where we're going."

Labels: a psalm of life, longfellow, poem

shining star.


The way you look at me
The way you touch me
The fire are in your eyes
(I swear) Makes me shivers inside
There's nothing I can do about it
'Cause nothing seems so truth
When I'm beside you
And my dream
Of all thing is all in my hand
Naked, perfect, so beautiful
You turn me up and down
I was spinning round and round
You never get enough, baby you don't
You're a shining star

The way you look at me
The way you touch me
The fire are in your eyes
(I swear) Makes me shivers inside
There's nothing I can do about it
You're my soulmate, my summer and my faith
You fill me up with love
Your kisses are better than wine
There's nothing I want more than you...

thanks for the song babe.

i love this song, i listen to this everytime i get the chance to. even my lil cousins love this song. whenever i play it, they're like "thats my song!". hah!
this song made me miss partyin in manila. btw, im not really a party boy, but i do party if i get the chance. i think im a "sometimes" party boy. hah!

Labels: lss, shining star

imagine me without You.



this week has been a great and exciting week for me. i want to write the details here but i think i should keep it to myself first. all i can say is, im inspired. i feel like brad from the bachelor. hah! i have no plans this weekend yet. i realized that its been a while since my last night out. i love dressin up too and i havent done it for a while since im just at home most of the time. and sad to say, i dont have much friends here in ontario. but i can say that my stay is ok so far. im just enjoying bein at home, practicing my violin, helping take care of the kids, learning photography etc.

sometimes, i do feel tired and feel like goin somewhere else. i really do wanna go back to philippines. i wanna go to chicago too and visit my friends. i wanted to celebrate my 22nd birthday there too. but it's just my plan. i dunno yet how i would make it happen. then i really wanna go back to manila and go back to school. right now, that seems so impossible. but im not losing hope yet. all i can do is ask God, and hopefully that's also His will for me.

right now, here's the song that im singing in my heart. it's actually one of my favorite song. it's a song by Jaci Velasquez.



Imagine me without You.


As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus:
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you

Verse 2:
When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus

I can't imagine me without you




this song means a lot to me. it just gives me hope whenever i sing it. it tells me that God is always there, and it made me realize how weak i am without Him. sometimes i have doubts, im confused and weary, but knowing that God is there, all i need is to trust Him everyday, and i know everything's gonna be alright. i just can't imagine myself without God.

have a great weekend everyone :D

twinkle twinkle, little star.


we had our first snow this year today. its not really thick yet, but julio, my lil cuz, was really ecstatic when he saw the snow outside. he even woke me up and pretty much everyone in the house. so yeah i woke up earlier than my usual. i wanted to take pictures outside but my camera might end up bein foggy and full of moist inside so i tried taking pictures through our window.

i really have a lot to learn in taking good pictures. i admit it was not my best photography. the setting i used was for low light, it made the pictures a bit saturated than usual, and my composition was a disaster. waaaahhh! but anyways, i'll take more soon. hopefully i'd create more powerful shots. so i wont be posting my shots now. but here's a picture i took of jannin on my violin case. hah! i got to watch her for a little bit. i think she likes my music, she's very behave while i was practicing my piece. i played twinkle twinkle and she was listening attentively. hah! even her mom was pretty impressed with her. im actually starting to learn the 2nd to the last piece of my book. im tryin to do it system by system. in that way, i could polish my piece more.

i can say that my day went well even though it was freezin outside and i havent bought gloves and scarves yet. during lunch my lolo came to visit. we had chinese food. yum! its ok to eat chinese food once in a while. for me, chinese food means cholesterol. im so mean. hah!

understanding vivaldi.


finally i can play one of vivaldi's concerto. and im also glad that im almost done with my violin book, i have 2 more pieces to go though, but its gettin there :D

today im tryin to rediscover vivaldi. back then i really dont care much about learning the life of famous composers, i dont even attend music classes in highschool. but now, while im playin vivaldi's concerto, it made me wonder what made vivaldi's composition different from the rest. i want to understand more of vivaldi's music. i also re-discovered his life today.

Antonio Lucio Vivaldi (March 4, 1678 – July 27 or 28, 1741), nicknamed Il Prete Rosso ("The Red Priest"), was a Venetian priest and baroque music composer, as well as a famous virtuoso violinist; he was born and raised in the Republic of Venice. The Four Seasons, a series of four violin concertos, is his best known work and a highly popular Baroque music piece.

im a fan of the four seasons, i think its really fun to play. my favorite is spring. i wish i have a string quartet right now. hah! anyways back to vivaldi.


Antonio Lucio Vivaldi was born in Venice, the capital of the Republic of Venice. He was baptized immediately at his home by the midwife. It is not known how the life of the infant was in danger, but the immediate baptism was most likely due to his poor health or to an earthquake that shook the city that day. Vivaldi's official church baptism (at least, the rites which remained other than the actual baptism itself) did not take place until two months later. His father, Giovanni Battista, a barber before becoming a professional violinist, taught him to play violin and then toured Venice playing the violin with his young son. Giovanni Battista was one of the founders of the Sovvegno dei musicisti di Santa Cecilia, a sort of trade union for musicians and composers. The president of the association was Giovanni Legrenzi, the maestro di cappella at St. Mark's Basilica and noted early Baroque composer. It is possible that the young Antonio's first lessons in composition were imparted by him. The Luxemburgese scholar Walter Kolneder sees in the early liturgical work Laetatus sum (RV Anh 31, written in 1691, at the age of 13) an influence of Legrenzi's style. His father may have been a composer himself: in 1688 an opera titled ''La Fedeltà sfortunata was composed by a Giovanni Battista Rossi, and this was the name under which Vivaldi's father had joined the Sovvegno di Santa Cecilia ("Rossi" for "Red", because of the colour of his hair, a family trait).

Vivaldi had a medical problem which he called the tightening of the chest (probably some form of asthma). His medical problem, however, did not prevent him from learning to play the violin, composing or taking part in many musical activities. At the age of 15 (1693), he began studying to become a priest. In 1703, at the age of 25, Vivaldi was ordained as a priest, soon nicknamed Il Prete Rosso, "The Red Priest", probably because of his red hair.

Not long after his ordination, in 1704, he was given a dispensation from celebrating the Holy Mass because of his ill health. In late 1706 he withdrew from active priesthood.

so yup, it was great learning bout vivaldi today. i wanna learn more and play more of his music. and then maybe i could understand baroque music too.

sweeping the clouds away







sunny days, sweeping the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet... who wouldnt recognize that line? hah! but for some who dont, its from the sesame street theme song. its definitely one of my favorite songs to sing when i was a kid. but i just like the song though, the show scares me. its weird but it freaks me out when i see the characters already, and i just go inside the bedroom so i wont be able to watch the show. yeah, im a weird kid.

today this article on the news caught my attention, its about the show sesame street. they said that the DVD is no longer suitable for kids.

"Just don’t bring the children. According to an earnest warning on Volumes 1 and 2, “Sesame Street: Old School” is adults-only: “These early ‘Sesame Street’ episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.”

Say what? At a recent all-ages home screening, a hush fell over the room. “What did they do to us?” asked one Gen-X mother of two, finally. The show rolled, and the sweet trauma came flooding back. What they did to us was hard-core. Man, was that scene rough. The masonry on the dingy brownstone at 123 Sesame Street, where the closeted Ernie and Bert shared a dismal basement apartment, was deteriorating. Cookie Monster was on a fast track to diabetes. Oscar’s depression was untreated. Prozacky Elmo didn’t exist.

Nothing in the children’s entertainment of today, candy-colored animation hopped up on computer tricks, can prepare young or old for this frightening glimpse of simpler times. Back then — as on the very first episode, which aired on PBS Nov. 10, 1969 — a pretty, lonely girl like Sally might find herself befriended by an older male stranger who held her hand and took her home. Granted, Gordon just wanted Sally to meet his wife and have some milk and cookies, but . . . well, he could have wanted anything. As it was, he fed her milk and cookies. The milk looks dangerously whole.

Live-action cows also charge the 1969 screen — cows eating common grass, not grain improved with hormones. Cows are milked by plain old farmers, who use their unsanitary hands and fill one bucket at a time. Elsewhere, two brothers risk concussion while whaling on each other with allergenic feather pillows. Overweight layabouts, lacking touch-screen iPods and headphones, jockey for airtime with their deafening transistor radios. And one of those radios plays a late-’60s news report — something about a “senior American official” and “two billion in credit over the next five years” — that conjures a bleak economic climate, with war debt and stagflation in the offing.

The old “Sesame Street” is not for the faint of heart, and certainly not for softies born since 1998, when the chipper “Elmo’s World” started. Anyone who considers bull markets normal, extracurricular activities sacrosanct and New York a tidy, governable place — well, the original “Sesame Street” might hurt your feelings."

now thats really freaky. and sad. the world today is really goin nuts. hah!
but anyways, speaking of sweeping the clouds away, it was really nice outside. not that cold and it's sunny. but yeah, i do almost the same thing everyday. i put "markers" on my violin though, to fix my intonation. it's very basic, i feel like a beginner, but who cares, even professionals does it. well kuya bojo told us that. :D

childhood heroes.


i think my love for animes and japanese stuff started at an early age, prollie like 4 years old. i remember bein obsessed with japanese cartoons and other shows dubbed in filipino. i can even sing in japanese back then. hah! so yeah, whenever i see anime stuffs, it reminds me of my childhood. makes me dig more vintage stuffs. so this week, i want to reminisce my "childhood heroes".



let me start with shaider, one of my favorite shows when i was a kid. its funny whenever i remember myself imitating his signature moves and poses. shaider, or alexis was played by HIROSHI TSUBURAYA, together with annie (Naomi Morinaga
. they made the dynamic duo who fights the evil phuma lear. ofcourse as a child, i was so amazed how they fight the monsters. and i also think its funny whenever i see annie's panties showing!



anyways, we might be wonderin whatever happend to annie and alexis now. i tried googling them and i found out that hiroshi already passed away. due to some liver problems. so yeah, lets get to know more of the two.


i got this article somewhere in the net.


THE PASSING OF A HERO, HIROSHI TSUBURAYA

By: Bob Johnson & August Ragone, Henshin! Online


Dateline: Friday, July 27, 2001



Hiroshi Tsuburaya, grandson of Eiji Tsuburaya and the Space Sheriff who saved the world in the 1980s, passed away at the age of 37 at 9:27am Tokyo time, on July 24, 2001 from liver disease. He is survived by his wife of eleven years, Fumiko and three children. The wake was held on July 25 and the funeral on July 26, both at the Siejo Catholic Church in Setagaya-ku, Tokyo.

The funeral was well attended by family and friends. Brothers Masahiro Tsuburaya (a producer at TPC) and Hideaki Tsuburaya (who runs Tsuburaya Communications) were there, along with many production staff members from Tsuburaya Productions. Actors in attendance included Takeshi Yoshioka, who played Gamu Takayama in ULTRAMAN GAIA and long-time suit actor Haruo Nakajima.


Hiroshi began his acting career by auditioning for a motion picture in the early 1980s. After not getting the role, he felt very worried about his acting career, but was saved by someone connected with the film, who gave him a small part in another movie. Following that, he landed his most famous role as the lead actor in Toei Companys SPACE SHERIFF SHAIDER (1984).


Following the leads of Kenji Ohba and Hiroshi Watari, Hiroshi Tsuburaya starred in the third of Toeis popular Space Sheriff series as Shaiders alter ego, Dai Sawamura. The series was action packed and as the main character, Hiroshi was involved in many stunt and action sequences, as well as his fair share of martial arts battles with monsters, aliens and henchmen who were trying to take over the World.

After the 52-episode run of SPACE SHERIFF SHAIDER, he went on to appear in numerous television dramas and movies, including ARARENBO SHOGUN and MITO KOMON.


In 1996, he appeared in episode 49 of ULTRAMAN TIGA. The episode involved the hero, Daigo, traveling back in time to Tsuburaya Productions in the mid-1960s, when the original ULTRAMAN series was first being developed. In this, he played the role of his father, Hajime Tsuburaya. Hajime was a director on the original ULTRAMAN and went on to take over Tsuburaya Productions after the death of his father, Eiji.

The following year, he accepted a regular role in ULTRAMAN DYNA as Colonel Seiji Miyata, the commander of TPC (The Terrestrial Peaceable Consortium). He would return for his final acting part as KCB Director, Kenji Tabata in ULTRAMAN GAIA.


Hiroshi was told a few years ago by doctors that he only had about five years to live. He was determined to outlive his father, Hajime, who died at the age of 41. At that time, he was instructed to take it easy. Wishing to help young actors get into the business, he temporarily quit his acting career and became manager of Tsuburaya Productions talent division. This was the position he held until his passing.

The last known interview with Hiroshi was in The Space Sheriffs Compendium, a book written by Mikio Ando and released in July of 2000.

All his fans will miss Hiroshi and his passing at such a young age is very tragic. Our hearts go out to his family and friends.


thats sad. here's annie.



Naomi Morinaga
Birthdate: 3/12/1965
Birth Sign: Pisces
Birth Place: Kanagawa, Tokyo, Japan
Blood Type: O
Height: 167 cm (5.5 ft.)
Weight: 52 Kg (114 lbs.)
Measurements: B87cm-W60cm-H89cm (B34 in.-W23 in.- H35 in.)


lastly, here's a clip of the opening of the series. enjoy!

Labels: alexis, annie, hiroshi tsuburaya, Naomi Morinaga, shaider

listen.


i dunno. i keep on saying that word. maybe im stupid. or maybe im not really thinking. i think my family members are annoyed by me always answering i dunno. they ask me stuff about what i want to do, or to be. or simply what i want. and i told them i dunno. honestly, i know what i want, it's just that ever since, no one understands it. back then, whenever i tell them what i want, they would either be against it, or make fun of it. what i really want is support. sometimes, success also means support. but i dont wanna expect. it would just frustrate me if ever. so i better do it on my own. so yeah, maybe im just tired of bein contradicted, so whats the point of telling them what i want?

*sigh* ok drop the subject.

last night i went online to browse some filipino videos in youtube. i saw a thumbnail of regine velasquez' video and i thought i'd watch it. regine was singing "listen" from the broadway musical "dreamgirls" to my surprise, regine actually messed up the song. it was really a shocker to me. knowing that she is one of the best pop singers and bein branded as asia's songbird. im like, OMGSHH, i caught myself laughing so hard, the video was presented in the funniest it can be, including the wrong lyrics that she made up, and also the captions and comments. i watched it over and over until its not funny anymore. then part of me felt bad for her. i've messed up once in my performance and it was really tough! how much more bein a "song bird" and messin up your performance. must be really tough.

as i was ponderin, i said to myself, maybe she dint rehearse it well, or she might be over confident, or whatever. i can't really tell, i dont wanna judge anyone. i realized that everyone commits mistakes. on the otherhand, i learned that no matter how far you've been, or how great your accomplishments are, always remember the basics.

Labels: listen, regine velasquez

Maya Angelou



to end my "inspiration" week, here's one of my favorite poet and novelist. be inspired by Maya Angelou.

Maya Angelou is hailed as one of the great voices of contemporary literature and as a remarkable Renaissance woman. Being a poet, educator, historian, best-selling author, actress, playwright, civil-rights activist, producer and director, Dr. Angelou continues to travel the world making appearances, spreading her legendary wisdom.

A mesmerizing vision of grace, swaying and stirring when she moves, Dr. Angelou captivates her audiences lyrically with vigor, fire and perception. She has the unique ability to shatter the opaque prisms of race and class between reader and subject throughout her books of poetry and her autobiographies.





"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

“We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

“While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation.”

“i can be changed by what happens to me. but i refuse to be reduced by it.”

“love life, engage in it, give it all you've got. love it with a passion, because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it”


“Nothing will work unless you do.”


“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.”

"If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.
"

"Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness"

so yup, that's all for now. have a great weekend everyone :D mwuah!

Labels: inspirational quotes, maya angelou

people. kind.


i recieved $20 from a friend today. and it's kinda weird. i think i almost had a hundred bucks given by people i dunno much. of course part of me is happy for recieving money, but part of me is also a big question mark. im not sure what's the reason why i am recieving money. sometimes i just think of it as a blessing. but i dunno, i just feel like i dont really deserve it.

so yeah, that thought has been lingering my mind for a while. sometimes i just want to tell them to stop giving me money, for some reason i kinda feel bad. sometimes i do have doubts. or maybe im just bein paranoid. but anyways, maybe it's God's way of helping me. since i really dont have a job right now. im basically a bum.

*sigh* seriuosly, im not sure of what to do with my life yet. anyways, thanks for the money.

keep on going.

"its better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life."


as of now, im almost half way in finishing my current violin book. im trying to memorize all the pieces that i learned. as if im preparing for a recital. speaking of recital, i have missed a lot of recitals of my friends this year. too bad. but anyways, sometimes i dream of having a recital too, but i dunno, i feel like im too old for it, or im not that good to have one. anyway, my goal right now is to finish the book so i could study a new one. sometimes i feel like it would never end. i keep on reminding myself that i have to finished what i've started. i've started learning the violin a long time ago but dont i keep on stopping lessons for some reasons. and then here i am, realizing how many years i spent bein so stubborn.

i believe its not too late, i have a lifetime to learn a lot of things. we only have one life to live and i wanted to make the most of it. i want to spend the rest of my life feeling fulfilled, with no regrets.

i made this collage today. they are the people who keeps me going. i love surrounding myself with inspiring people. i love you guys, you are heavensent!

lazy days.









its weird but ive been craving for potato salad. good thing my auntie bought some from the grocery. not as good as the homemade though. today's weather was really nice. im starting to download christmas songs, *sigh* i wanna go home for christmas.

im currently listening to enya's songs. she's definitely one of my favorite musicians, she basically did her whole album. what i mean is, she writes her music, do the orchestration, etc. very talented indeed. i love her music, some people thinks her music is very hypnotic, well i kinda agree. here's one of my fave. oh i also realized that ive been so lazy today, i dint practice my violin yet. bad cheetah!


Lazy old day
rolling away
dreaming the day away
don't want to go
now that I'm in the flow
crazy amazing day
One red balloon
floats to the moon
just let it fly away
I only know
that I'm longing to go
back to my lazy day

And how it sings and how it sighs
and how it never stays
And how it rings and how it cries
and how it sails away... away... away....

this song makes me lazy. hah! im kidding :D

Labels: enya, lazy days

be inspired.

my theme for this week is "inspirations". i wanna talk about the many things that inspires me. i wanna be inspired everyday. i think it's a great feeling. i tried to google the definition of inspiration, and here's what i got.

Definition:
[noun] arousal of the mind to special unusual activity or creativity


[noun] a product of your creative thinking and work; "he had little respect for the inspirations of other artists"; "after years of work his brainchild was a tangible reality"
Synonyms: brainchild


[noun] a sudden intuition as part of solving a problem


[noun] (theology) a special influence of a divinity on the minds of human beings; "they believe that the books of Scripture were written under divine guidance"
Synonyms: divine guidance


[noun] arousing to a particular emotion or action
Synonyms: stirring


[noun] the act of inhaling; the drawing in of air (or other gases) as in breathing
Synonyms: inhalation, aspiration, breathing in


a lot of things inspires me everyday, it may be something i saw on the TV, a song, friends, family, colors, stories and alot more. i want to start with the usual, everyday things that i do.

last night, i was having a hard time falling a sleep so i turned the tv on, and try to find somethin nice to watch. then i saw the movie big fish was on, wow, i realized i havent watched that film yet. i watched the whole movie and i think it was great. the story itself was inspiring to me, great styling and costumes too. i think its genius.





today, a photographer came to take pictures of my baby cousin jannin. it was my first time to see an actual baby photoshoot. i was so amazed on how fast the photographer's hands, and how patient he is. baby photography i think is the hardest. he had to pose jannin and quickly take his hands off her and click the camera. he has to do it i think in like 2 seconds. i learned a lot from that session, although i dont really like to specialize in baby photography someday, but gettin to see that is a great learning experience. it inspired me to make a make shift home studio. photography need not to be expensive after all.

lollipop house



last night, me, tita mae and aileen went downtown to see this documentary film called "my kid could paint that". it was about a four year old girl who paints, and had sold $300,000 worth of paintings.

This documentary examines the controversy surrounding Marla Olmstead, a 4-year-old whose paintings have rocked the art world. While some compare her abstract style to Picasso and have paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for them, others believe her work is an elaborate ruse perpetrated by her parents.

the movie, well for me was emotionally painful. i think it was well made and the director showed the good and the bad side of the story. i dont really think that the director was suggesting somethin, he kinda gave the audience a chance to decide for themselves by showing "evidences". it's kinda boring though, but since its a documentary film, its a breath of fresh air to me. its also my first time bein inside like a "mini" movie house, the room was smaller, no balcony, just like a long room.

for me, i believe that Marla did paint those artwork, but i also bleieve that in some way, her dad "coached" her, or did some "doctoring" to her paintings. i saw how different her actual painting that was shown on the DVD than some of the artworks bein presented in the gallery. it looks more "polished". but anyways, thats just my opinion.





aftermath

so yeah, after the movie we went to some bar, and it was weird coz i was actually noticing the artworks on the wall. it's kinda exciting coz someone's flirting wit me. hah! so random.


photos from marlaolmstead.com

Labels: documentary films, marla olmstead, my kid can paint that

shine.

this week has been ok, except that my lolo passed away. i've been practicing a new piece this week. i almost got it. maybe another more week and i could play it "perfectly". *sigh* i wish. but yeah, i hope to finish the whole book this month. it's better than doin nothin at all. im actually having fun. i feel like a kid! it's weird coz i feel like my passion for music has been re kindled again. i may be "over age" for my level but thats ok.

i remember after our orchestra concert in ILoilo, there's was this guy who approached me. he asked my name, he asked me how long i've been playing the violin. we chatted for a while and i told him that i started kinda "late" in violin lessons. he said, it doesnt really matter, he told me, he, too, started late. i then learned that i was talkin to Mr. Gilopez Kabayao. im like OMGSHHH.

so yeah, that was inspiring. he was so nice. i hope he could be my mentor someday. speaking of bein inspired, here's one of my favorite group. the BOND.

Labels: classical music, shine, the bond

goodnight lolo


ok, i was so eager to post another blog today but when i checked my messenger, my mom has an offline message. my grandfather passed away. so it seemed that my thoughts vanished from my mind for while. i dunno what to feel. it's really weird. part of me wants to cry, talthough it was never really a shocker to me. i saw it coming. my grandpa, or lolo has been diagnosed with colon cancer last year.

my lolo has always been so good to us, i think he's really a good role model to all of us. he thought us how to live a life of praise. its just sad that i wont be able to go home and be with the rest of the family. part of me is happy for my lolo, finally he's free from all the cares of the world. free from all the medications. free from pain. time for him to rest. im gonna miss him so much. i know he's gone, but he'll always be here in my heart. thanks for everything lolo.






Felx Sales dela Vega


gone, but not forgotten.

every story is a love story

jei is bein pathetic and really shallow today. he is feelin that way because he's single. and he wants to be with someone. well it all started when his friend miki was telling some love story to him. haha, i think that's cute. well im bein random, anyways, miki's story gave jei mixed feelings. jei thinks the story is really touching. that's why he thinks he wanna be inlove. *sigh*

ok jei has been singing this song over and over today.

Every story, tale or memoir
Every saga or romance
Whether true or fabricated
Whether planned or happenstance

Whether sweeping through the ages
Casting centuries aside
Or a hurried brief recital
Just a thirty-minute ride

Whether bright or melancholy
Rough and ready, finely spun
Whether with a thousand players
Or a lonely cast of one

Every story, new or ancient
Bagatelle or work of art
All are tales of human failing
All are tales of love at heart

This is the story
Of a love that flourished
In a time of hate

Of lovers no tyranny could separate
Love set into motion on the Nile's shore
Destiny ignited by an act of war

Egypt saw the mighty river as its very heart and soul
Source of life for all her people
That only Egypt could control
Destruction of her southern neighbor justified
Nubia exploited, left with little more than pride

i sooo love AIDA! i wanna see this stage play someday. i wish they'll make this into a movie :D

ok, no more third person. well yeah i was kinda feeling that way today. but its just temporary. im very moody, thats why. i was chattin wit my LD earlier. i kinda miss her. on the brighter side of the day, i finally gave rayta the pictures i took of her kids. and i also framed them here's a copy of asaph's pic.







here's somethin i did for fun. it tells what kind of kisser i am. hah!

Your Kisses Are Spicy and Wild

Your kisses are powerful stuff. They'll start a fire in almost anyone you kiss. You kiss with passion, skill, and endurance. Anyone who kisses you is in for a long, intense ride. You better watch out though. Your incredible kisses are likely to get you in trouble!

Ever After.


Three years ago, our journey began
Chasing down this cure, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my racing guide in the dark
Just knowing with conviction from the start

The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of being godly
Yet I fell hard for your imperfections

And now we're slightly weathered, we're slightly worn
Our hands grip together, eye to eye through the storm, yet
I still believe in ever after with you, yeahhhhh
Cuz life is a pleasure with you by my side,
And there ain't no current in this river we can't ride
I still believe in ever after with you

Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like we're floating, when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love, and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful twisted sunshine

Emotions, volcanic eruptions
We both still care, so we're still alive
Tunnel vision, determination
I want you, I want to make it right

And now we're slightly weathered, we're slightly worn
Our hands grip together, eye to eye through the storm, yet
I still believe in ever after with you, yeahhhhh
Cuz life is a pleasure with you by my side,
And there ain't no current in this river we can't ride
I still believe in ever after with you

You are my twisted sunshine
You are my twisted sunshine

[2x]
And now we're slightly weathered, we're slightly worn
Our hands grip together, eye to eye through the storm, yet
I still believe in ever after with you, yeahhhhh
Cuz life is a pleasure with you by my side,
And there ain't no current in this river we can't ride
I still believe in ever after with you




ok, right now, im still like obsessed wit this song by bonnie bailey. HAH! brings back lots of memories from the manila party scene. i dunno there's somethin about this song that makes me wanna play it over and over again. hmm, very hypnotic!



nothin really interestin happened today, same thing almost everyday. after i practice my violin, i went online and downloaded the myspaceIM. no one from my myspace list is online so i just try talkin to tom for fun. but i realized that im talkin to a computer so screw that myspace IM. hah!

follow your heart

at the end of the day, you're another day older. hah! its kinda early for me updating my blog, but that's aight. since im living wit my auntie and uncle, and their kids, i barely have the time to be alone here by the computer. i can think more and express more if i have privacy. speaking of privacy, hmm, i need that, or should i say i want that. :D

so yeah, today was ok, it rained while me and julio were goin to school. we had to walk and use an umbrella, which later broke, thanks to the strong winds. today, i also recieved an e-mail from melissa koch, a friend of mine in downers grove. i havent seen her for a while and i miss her. *sigh* nothin really interestin today.

i was chattin wit a friend a while ago, he wanted my advice. yeah it's about love. it was a long story but it was a classic case of boy-loves-boy-but-other-boy-doesnt love him back kinda thing. before he told me the story, he was tellin me that he feels like a "slut" coz he's been giving away his number to random people who wants it, talks to them. and while i was listening, i kinda figure out what's the bottom line. he's broken hearted, depressed. what i think is he's tryin to find someone who would fill the emptiness he feels because of bein heartvroken, and at the end of the day, realizing that no one could ever make him feel better except for the one he loves. *sigh* in some way i could relate to him, which made his story very predictable. i know his situation is not easy, but i told him to try fallin out of love. i think he needs space. according to him, they still hangout, and do special things together. what SWEET TORTURE. people might give us advices, make comments, good or bad, but those things wont change us unless we let it. at the end, aside from God, it's only us who could help ourselves.

TSO and ate arnie's b-day!
today is ate arnie's birthday. arnie lou salazar- baker, or simply ate arnie is one of my favorite people. she's someone that i really look up to, she's like a big sister to me and to all of her friends. i met ate when i joined the AUP string ensemble, she is also the founder of the group. she's really a good steward of talents, excells in almost everything that she do, whether it is music, sports, everything. a very good adviser, mother, friend and what i love the most is a real servant of God. very missionary-minded. she's definitely a blessing to all.



ok speaking of ate arnie and the string ensemble, i went out last night and watched the toronto symphony orchestra. it was really good. thanks to my auntie mae for the treat. i had a blast, it's been a while since the last classical concert i've watched.


wow, yesterday was really "musical" and so random! i also visited another church yesterday, it was their first year anniversary. they've invited lots of guest singers. i get to meet some of my fellow AUPians too. i love musical programs, but im not so crazy bout this one.

Random Things



i leared recently that my highschool batchmate and close friend, joyce guia, moved to canada, i think she just arrived today, or yesterday. the good thing is, they are in ontario and they live close to my area. which is really good. i can't wait to see her, it's been a while since the last time we hanged out. she's really fun to be with. and i just realized that it's been a while since the last time i had a good laugh. *sigh* but as some say, happiness is a choice. well yeah, sometimes i choose to be happy with what i have, and who i have, or where i am. but i dunno, i guess there's never a complete happiness. oh well im getting so random. so yeah, it's friday, im goin to church tomorrw. nothin really interestin happened today, except that i bought a new suit. oh joy! haha. right now, im baby sitting my cousin jannin. and it's not that easy! she's giving me a hard time. hah! so i think i better go. have a great weekend everyone. (well if there's someone reading this)